Hey everyone!!

I'm so sorry I haven't been around. I reeeeally need to get back into the habit of logging onto here. Lately I've just been really busy because I started University here in London in September and I had to move down here. Plus the fact that my laptop is broken and the only place I can go online is in the library at the Uni doesn't really help either. But anyway, enough excuses. I have my Creative Writing class now where I have to write and I have been writing so I will upload that work some time soon and then I was told to write more so I can use my journal here to do just that.

I hope everyone is doing good. I'm rather happy. I move down to East London where I go to the University of East London and I'm studying Media and Creative Industries, which is a course that's unique in all of England and means that I chose 3 different subjects (out of 24) that I then study for one year after which I can decide if I want to continue with all 3 of them, 2 of them or even only 1. It's quite cool. Specifically I'm studying Creative Writing, Music Culture and Media Studies. I'm really enjoying it so far, even though some lectures are really boring but I think that's just normal.
I've already found a small group of friends. Basically it's mainly a girl called Rebecca (Bex) with whom I get on very, very well and we already had a girly sleep over party at my house the other day, and a boy called Levi who is really nice. They are both planning on moving a bit closer to the university and in a few months I am meant to move in with them. That should be fun, I think.

Anyway, I have to do some reading for my Media Seminar in half an hour so I'm going to get going. Just to let you all know I miss you and I love and I'm sorry I neglected you but I will try very hard not to anymore!

Love you all!!

Carla xxx

GRAH!! I can't believe myself! So much to "I'm back"!!! I promised myself I'd be active again but noooo... Life caught up with me again, and what happened?
I MISSED IT!!!!!
The deviantART tour was in London and I didn't know so I couldn't go!!!!

I'm not happy!

But in good news, I'm going to America on Monday!! I can't wait! It's going to be good! I'm staying with Lisa and Randy (her husband) in her newly bought house!! Paul's coming too, though he's going home after a week and a half. I'm staying 2 weeks longer so I have time to catch up with my friends without him feeling in the way or getting bored or anything. Anyway, I'm sure it'll be good. I've never been over there in July! My first Independence Day and everything! I'm excited! Should be gooood!!!
And I can't wait to see everyone again!! Especially Lisa and Rachel!

Anyway, I shall upload some stuff I've been working at. Comments as always appreciated. More updates later. Not in the mood right now.

Hope you're all good.

Love you all!!

Carla xxx

Hello everyone,


God, I missed this place. I just went through my favourites gallery and I wanted to cry. Happy tears, mind you. This place has given me so much, showed me so much beauty in so many different forms and I feel terrible and a bit stupid for neglecting it for such a long time. I have friends here that I didn't take care of and look after, I have art here that I missed simply because I couldn't be bothered to look at it. I missed out on beauty and things that would have made me happy because I was sitting around, being bored and feeling sorry for myself. But no more of this. Things have been looking up for me lately and just being on here made me feel so warm and happy inside, like coming home to an old friend. I really should have paid more attention to this place. But you see, I will now. It's time for me to get back on the horse, especially seeing as I recently applied at University for Journalism and Creative Writing. I have to start writing and reading again and I have to actually take the time to do so. Starting today.

I deleted all the deviations and journals and news and such that have been piling up for ages because there was no way I could have looked at and commented on over 2,000 deviations and 600 Journals. If there is anything in particular that you'd like me to have a look at, let me know. Otherwise I'm very sorry for all the beautiful pictures, photos, drawings, poems, stories, etc. I missed out on. But you see, it's my loss.

Either way, things are looking good. As I said, I applied at 5 different Universities around London, I (hopefully!!) have a job starting Monday, I'm visiting my Grandma this weekend, I'm living with Paul and his family which is going very well, and it's only 7 more weeks before I'm going to the USA to visit all my friends in Ohio! Paul is coming too and it will be great to show him my second home, after I was already able to show him Germany and that. I'm very much looking forward to it. Things are looking up rather than the depressive state of "I don't know what I want to do", I moved on to "I'll just start and do and try things and see how it goes" and I have to tell you, it's MUCH better and nicer and easier.

Anyway, so much for me. I'm hoping to get a sub soon, but I can't really afford it at the moment, sadly. Once I have one though, I shall pimp my journal and check out the new things dA added while I was gone.

I hope everyone is doing well! I missed you guys and I tell you, it feels great to be back! Let me know what's been going on with you people.

Lots of love,



Carla xxx

PS. I shall also start updating and reviving my club ~here-to-help too. Anyone who'd like to help with that, let me know.

I can't believe the year is almost over. This year has been so very odd. I think it's because the main things and problems in my life haven't change since June and I am so very aware of what was going on in each month since then that it just feels like a day each. When I talk about what happened in June or July and someone says "Oh, so that's ages ago then." it feels so wrong to me. "ages ago"? No! That JUST happened, pretty much. Time seems like a fairly odd thing to me lately. Then again, everything feels odd to me lately. I don't know about anything anymore. I'm trying to work out my life...my future. What I want to do, where I want to do it, etc. I realised more than ever that you can not plan your future around one person. Or maybe even more than one person. I mean, it's one thing to say "I'll stay here because all my friends live here and I like it here." .. I'm not saying you should all go and pack your bags and leave where you are because you are there for your friends and family. All I'm saying is that if there is somewhere else you want to go, don't stay because of others. And if someone else is going to a different place, don't go with them if you don't want to. If you do something "for someone else", that never works. It'll just end in you being unhappy, complaining about it, and them blaming you for doing it in the first place. Never do anything that makes you unhappy if you have a choice to do something else, even if that might be hard or scary. In the end it will be worth it.
And god, I hate when I say things like this, that I know for a fact are true, and I can feel myself already not listening to me. Because that's what I do. I always know what I should be doing but don't convince myself. And nobody could. I'm so fucked up. I really wish I was different but I'm so much "myself" that I can't change myself. Which, this only makes sense to myself because nobody knows what I'm like apart from me. I wish people would think a like. I wish people would know what I'm trying to say, what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, without me having to say it and try and explain it. And I absoluetly hate my sensitivity. I get upset SO easily and I fall into these mini depressions that I can't seem to escape and that I tend to get stuck in and not be able to get out off. Anyway, enough of this senseless talking. I hate not having been around much lately. It also means that most people forgot about me so that hardly anyone ever stops by to read my poetry/journals, granted there hasn't been much of either since August really. *sigh*

I will change things around. I will. Just give me some more time.

I love you all very much though and I hope you believe me when I say that I haven't forgotten any of you.



Take care and Merry Christmas!!

Carla xxx


PS. I love the new Fall Out Boy album.

100D Project

.What it is.
It's a project of *bewarecalamity and ~SesshysRose where 100 not very popular artists get featured by as many people as possible. I am one of the "revolutionists". If you are as interested in it as I was/am, go to *The100DProject.
I am the Event Coordinator of the project and therefore part of the staff. If you have any questions about the project or about me, don't hesitate to ask!!

.Previous Features.
I'll keep a list of the features here.

#1 ~kubawojewoda Featured here
#2 ~tommy-th-cat Featured here
#3 *NADIAwicker Featured here
#4 ~papaspaulding Featured here
#5 *charmedy Featured here
#6 ~Arany Featured here
#7 ~Kleemass Featured here
#8 *E-Mann Featured here
#9 ~AnthonyFoti Featured here
#10 *SouthernMan Featured here
#11 ~Rovi-Jesher Featured here
#12 ~Badkarma87 Featured here
#13 ~jondean Featured here
#14 ~kittykittyhunter Featured here
#15 =angrymouse Featured here
#16 ~hunnd Featured here
#17 ~LelaRae Featured here
#18 ~Drawing-You-In Featured here
#19 ~BjorklundPhotography Featured here
#20 ~NeoWorm Featured here
#21 ~uvikidd Featured here
#22 ~neuhaus20 Featured here
#23 ~MissCarriage Featured here
#24 ~Prince-Poison Featured here
#25 ~Enr-Sacrum Featured here
#26 ~Lawnz Featured here
#27 ~m4g1c4lm3 Featured here
#28 ~molokolo Featured here
#29 ~gougoune Featured here
#30 ~eepedeep Featured here
#31 ~laurentdudot Featured here
#32 ~Flotograf Featured here
#33 ~doanminhman Featured here
#34 ~shi-chahn Featured here
#35 ~GatoMiguel Featured here
#36 ~KrinoSpirit Featured here
#37 ~Boui34 Featured here
#38 ~ivelin Featured here
#39 *dalantech Featured here
#40 ~peacerock Featured here
#41 ~intents2000 Featured here
#42 ~EenPaddestoel Featured here
#43 ~relashio Featured here
#44. *maximumunicorn Bath
#45. *Creedysgirl Wet
#46. ~avalon1967 Top Mountain High
#47. =OkTaYBiNGoL The Friendship IV
#48. ~Illuminatiproduction Apple
#49. ~BethlehemLights Ghost Stories
#50. ~latticeworkopines Mountain II
#51. *thesynchronicitygrid ..:Supernal:..
#52. *xhannahsoncrackx Behing Blue Eyes
#53. ~SilentKW We Die Only Once
#54. ~BambooStalker Cailloux The Owl


.New Feature.
New idea. Now there are 11 features a month. August is coming as soon as I find out who it is. --- Same to September...no idea what's going on.

News
.Random Deviant.
I stole lolly's idea.
I decided that I am going to feature 5 random deviants with every journal that I update.
Here are today's random deviants:
THERE IS NO MORE "RANDOM DEVIANT" BUTTON?!?

If I'm mistaken and just too stupid to find it, let me know. But I simply can't find it anywhere!!!

Don't know what a random deviant is? How about checking out this:
[link]

.Personal Stuff.
I'm annoyed!! Either I'm an idiot or dA is trying to fool me! I saved my deviantART birthday aka the day I joined in my phone to remind me so I could make a happy birthday journal and it reminded me that it's today and then I check and all of the sudden it's the 7th of October?!?!?! I'm SURE it was the 11th last time I checked! Why would I save the wrong date when I remember being on the site and checking to be sure?!? GRAH!

But anyway, I'll just still make it and pretend!
3 years!! It feels weird that's it's "only" been 3 because I feel like this has been a part of me for the longest time but I guess it's still quite a bit. And I loved it all. I've made a few wonderful friends who I'd never want to miss and I got to know a few of my normal friends a bit better through this site as well.
Thanks everyone for everything they've ever done to me. So many people have dedicated and made things for me and I've found so much love and respect on here! Many times have you all helped me through tough situations in my life and writing in my dA journal has more than once dried my tears after all. So I want to say THANKS to all of you and especially to deviantART for providing me with this website that has changed my life at least a little bit!

Other personal things, well there's been quite a bit going on. Basically I fell out with my best friend over here but we made up. Hopefully this will change things for the better seeing as a lot of "secrets" came out and can now be worked on instead of just swallowed and ignored. So let's hope it was all for the better. Otherwise, living in my new family is quite alright. Rather exhausting at times but they love me and I love them. They are really cute and rather well behaved and yesterday was the first time where the older one was being a bit rude and misbehaving but in the end she came and hugged me and said "I'm sorry about earlier." It was really cute. So yeah, I'm quite happy things, things are going well in the house and with the family. The mum is also really nice too.
Anyway, I'm rather busy though. I have a tight schedule and no internet on my laptop so I'm hardly ever online anymore and still never went through the 3000 some messages I have. But I will get there eventually.
I hope all is well with you all!! I want COMMENTS on this!!!
Love to you guys, where ever you are and whatever you're doing.

That's all!
Hope everyone else is doing alright.
Take care everyone!!

I love you all!

Carla